


the process of peer review

by mearcats



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Professors, Anthropology, Archaeology, Background Red Beauty, Captain Swan Little Bang 2018, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Mild Language, Mild Smut, Professors, UST, background Outlaw Queen, mentions of past relationships - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 19:12:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13747458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mearcats/pseuds/mearcats
Summary: Best friends. Colleagues. That's what anthropology and archaeology professors Emma and Killian have been to each other for years, but sometimes old definitions and practices need to be revisited.





	the process of peer review

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so thrilled to share my contribution to the 2018 CSLB! I hope you all enjoy this fluffy tale. Beta'd by sambethe, and art to come by treluna2 on tumblr.

 Emma pulled the two beers from her fridge, the glass from the bottles clinking together before she handed one to Killian. He was slumped into the cushions of her couch, head resting against its back.

“Thanks, love,” he said, cracking open one eye to peer up at her.

She plopped down next to him, giving him a look over. He was obviously exhausted, the skin below his eyes a little two purple and a small line was etched down his brow.

Exhaustion aside, though, he looked well. He was freshly back–as in had driven back into town less than 24 hours before–from directing field school this summer, and his work showed in his deep tan and well-defined muscles. Not that he was flabby in May, but a summer surveying and digging did a body good.

Ah, the beginning of the fall semester was always a grand time. Everyone was in peak condition from their summer field work and looked amazing, and while she and Killian might just be friends and colleagues, she still had eyes.

And her eyes were telling her that  _good lord_  did that man look good in his barely-buttoned plaid shirt, his chest peeking out enticingly. And the tan made his eyes look even more blue…

She snapped out of her thoughts when he cleared his throat, smirking at her pointedly. “Admiring the view, Swan?”

She blushed, but shrugged at his teasing tone. “You’re all right, I guess.” She stretched her arms over her head and cracked her neck, hoping to feign a nonchalance she didn’t quite feel. When she glanced back at him, she found his eyes glued to the tan skin revealed by her tank top riding up.  _Well, this was interesting._

“Eyes up here, Jones,”

She offered him a smirk when his eyes focused back on her face.  They had flirted before–god, he was an inveterate flirt–but the swooping sensation in her chest was new. And were those  _butterflies_  in her stomach? No. She couldn’t be developing feelings for him, that just wouldn’t do. Too damn many complications. She pushed the feelings down to analyze later and focused on what Killian was saying again.

“You’re a fine one to talk,” he said, not even a little ashamed at having been caught staring. He patted her knee lightly. “Speaking of, talk to me about your field work. Summer was stupid without my daily chat with Dr. Emma Swan.”

“Uh uh, I need to hear all the field school drama first, Dr. Killian Jones. Since apparently that’s how we talk to each other now.”

He sighed and rubbed at his eyes before taking a deep swig of his beer. “It was a field school. Same as it’s been the last three years I’ve been running it,” he groused.

She grinned at him. “Okay, that means there was a lot of drama. How many budding archaeologists hit on you? Who got drunk and tried to go for a swim in the Arkansas? Dish.”

The tips of his ears burned red and he grumbled indistinctly at her. Emma just kept smiling at him, waggling her eyebrows until he spilled.

“Fine. Two of the undergrads hit on me, and both my grad students that came out hooked up… with each other. And now they can hardly look at each other.”

Emma raised an eyebrow. “Wow, Nixon and Smith? I wouldn’t have guessed.”

“Neither would they have, I think.” He snorted. “Which is probably why it’s so awkward now. To say nothing of them trying to explain to me that it was just alcohol and poor judgment.”

She laughed. “Aww, poor baby grad students. We’ve all been there.”

“Have we?” Killian leaned back and eyed her speculatively, amusement glinting in his eyes. He elbowed her before continuing, “I sense some untold tales, Swan. But yes, their claims would have been more believable had they not been caught coming and going from each other’s tents at least weekly.”

“Well, that sounds like quite the season. Oh, oh, who was the field school drunkie? I heard some rumors…” she let herself trail off.

Killian’s eyes opened wide and he turned to face her. “Whatever you heard, consider the sources. I’m not sure they’re reliable.”

“Mmhmm. So you didn’t drink three-quarters of a bottle of rum, excavate naked for half an hour, and jump in the lake while yelling that you were king of the dig?”

He groaned and buried his face in his hands. “Who told you?”

Emma kept laughing. “Belle told me. She found out from Ruby, who got the dirt straight from–”

“Ugh, your puns have gotten worse,” he told her, crossing his arms and jutting out his bottom lip in a pout before continuing, “and aye, I know, I know. She came up for a weekend, which now explains why Ruby couldn’t make eye contact with me without laughing.  _Anyway_ , tell me about your summer research.”

She bumped his shoulder with hers and leaned into him. “It was great, actually. I made some really good contacts in Mexico City and Guadalajara, plus a few places between. I’m really optimistic about some of the preliminary research I did. I think there’s plenty more to tease out, so fingers crossed that I get that grant I applied for so I can set up a project there next year.”

“Ah yeah, you have a sabbatical coming up, don’t you?” Killian asked.

Emma nodded. “Yup. And I know it’ll be here sooner than I can imagine, but…it’s wild.”

“Well, I imagine you’ll get the grant. I have yet to see you fail when you set your mind to something,” he told her, his face the very picture of seriousness. He met her eyes, and his gaze didn’t waver. She saw an unfamiliar expression–something earnest and caring with no hint of a jest or flirtation there.

“Thank you,” she said with a smile. “But hey, let’s forget about all that for the moment. Beers and Netflix?”

“Oh god, yes. I missed the internet and all its wonders.” The momentary tension in the room vanished as Killian glanced eagerly at her television

“Oh my god, the first thing you did when you got home was watch porn, wasn’t it?”

“Swan, I have no comment, but in the words of that musical you enjoy so much, ‘the internet is for porn.’”

&&&

Every year, their department head–Dr. Regina Mills–hosted a welcome barbecue that was open to all the new and returning graduate students and professors. Killian had just gotten back from his field season three days ago, and Emma a week prior.

A couple nights ago, after they’d had their beers and caught up on each other’s lives and the TV shows they’d missed over the summer, he ended up staying over at her place . “Crashing on the couch here is far preferable to joining the ranks of DUI holders in the community, Swan,” Killian had explained. Emma had no arguments for him on that score.

Today, she looked across the yard at where he stood, surrounded by the usual bevy of female grad students. She smirked at his admirers and turned back to Robin Locksley and Merida Dunbroch, both of whom she’d been chatting with about summer happenings and upcoming projects. Robin was Regina’s husband, and a professor in his own right, though he was in the ag and forestry department. Merida was one of her own grad students. She had joined the program last year as a research assistant and was awaiting news of Emma’s  grant just as eagerly as Emma herself.

Merida looked over at Robin. “So, you got to spend the entire summer in Yellowstone? I’m jealous.”

“Indeed. It was incredible, though I’m admittedly very grateful to be back in the comfort of my home. I’ll content myself with with weekend hiking and skiing until next May, thank you very much,” he said, eyes twinkling merrily. “But I imagine it has nothing on the world-class museums and contemporary art producing communities in central Mexico.”

A corner of Emma’s mouth quirked upward. “Hey, don’t hate just because you chose trees over pretty cities and easy access to internet and toilet paper. I know what I’m about.”

The three of them laughed, and Emma looked up from their conversation, feeling eyes on her. She met Killian’s eyes across the yard and he smiled and winked at her, raising his beer in salute. Making her excuses to Robin and Merida, she started to head over to him.

She had almost reached him when she watched Tink Greenwald, psychology professor and Killian’s ex-girlfriend, sidle up next to him. She had been the first woman he dated after he was widowed, an off-and-on again thing over the last couple of years. However, to the best of Emma’s knowledge, Killian had broken things off with her in March and nothing had happened since.

So why was she here, approaching Killian and looking up at him adoringly?

Tink reached to embrace Killian and kiss him, but he turned his face so that her lips landed on his cheek. His ears were red, and he looked chagrined as he met Emma’s eyes.

“Killian, there you are! It’s so good to see you. I was so thrilled to hear from you wh–oh,” she said, seeing Emma staring at her. “Hi, Emma. I didn’t–well, anyway, how are you doing?”

Tink seemed as flustered as Emma felt. “Oh, pretty well, how about you?”

“Great, great. Um, yeah. Regina invited me, and Killian texted me about hanging out after, so…” Tink shrugged, her cheeks pink.

Emma flushed. “Oh. Oh! Right. I didn’t realize–I’m going to go find Belle, she was telling me about this old folk art text she found. Uh, have a nice evening, Tink.”

“You too, Emma,” she said, staring back at her thoughtfully.

As she walked away, Emma swallowed the unexpected lump in her throat, her stomach leaden. She pushed past Killian, not making eye contact as she headed away.

He didn’t stop her or bid her farewell, just ran his hand through his hair and sighed.

&&&

Hours later, everyone who remained at Regina’s barbeque relocated to the Rabbit Hole, their department’s main haunt. Emma was at the bar, smiling at something Ruby said. She hadn’t seen Killian since she’d left him talking with Tink, so she started a little when she heard, “Evening, Swan,” as he slid into empty barstool next to her.

“God, Killian! A little warning next time?” She placed a hand over her heaving chest, and she rolled her eyes at him as his gaze followed her motion. “What are you doing? I thought for sure you’d be engaged in ‘more enjoyable activities’ with Tink by now. Or are you done already?” She grinned. “Lew Binford would be proud.”

“Ooh, are you and Tink a thing again?” asked Ruby, leaning over onto the bar, head cradled in her hands and looking very entertained.

“No, Lucas, Tink and I aren’t a thing again. We just had a bit of a chat,” he said, waggling his eyebrows at her before turning back to Emma. “And what’s it to you, Swan? You jealous?”

Emma resisted the urge to smack the smirk off his face and settled for rolling her eyes. “Considering that I just implied you’re a minute man, I’d think that’s what you’d want to focus on there. And no.”

“Love, if you ever want to take this,” he said, gesturing to himself with a dramatic sweep of his hand, “for a spin, just say the word. I’ll be happy to prove how much of a minute man I’m not.”

Ruby cackled, standing from her bar stool and taking her beer. “As fun as this is, I’m going to go track down Mulan for a game of darts. She owes me a rematch. Have fun and be safe, kids.”

Emma watched as Killian shook his head at Ruby and wished her luck before he swiveled back to her. He smiled, but seemed uncertain what to say now that it was just the two of them.

Taking a deep breath, she asked with a raised brow, “Tink, huh?”

He reached up and scratched behind his ear. “Yeah. Well, not really. We’re not getting back together. I guess the other day I just had a  _small_  moment of weakness wherein I texted her about, uh, possibly doing something tonight.”

“Oh my god, you were really going to try a fuck buddies scenario with your ex? Bad decision dinosaur, Killian.”

His reply was defensive, and he waved her questions aside, finally getting the bartender’s attention. “I know, I know. Like I said, moment of weakness. It’s been a while for me, Swan, and is it so wrong to–”

“No, no. I get it, I just don’t think it’s a good idea when there have been feelings there before. But it’s not my place.” She looked down at her drink and wrapped her hand around the glass. “Tink seemed game, so why didn’t you go through with it?” She could hear curiosity tinging her words, even though she tried to keep her tone neutral. She wanted the answer far more than she was willing to admit.

He paused to order his drink, smiling and handing over his card as the bartender passed him his double of the house rum. “Ah, that. She wasn’t interested in rekindling a sexual relationship if it didn’t also involve me being invested in the future. Or something like that. She talked a lot, but the gist was that she said no.”

“Huh,” Emma said.

“Eloquent as ever, love.”

“I just wouldn’t have expected that. She always seemed…I dunno, like she’d be okay with that. Like, she liked you but wasn’t raring to go with the whole settling down and a future thing.” She shrugged, peering at him from the corner of her eyes.

Killian shifted in his seat and avoided her gaze, clearly uncomfortable. He ran a hand through his hair, saying, “I mean, I don’t think she is, but she wanted more than I did, apparently. Ah well. It was just an impulsive thing, and as you mentioned, a bad decision.”

“Still, that sucks. Droughts of that variety are never fun. I should know.  Anyway,” she said, raising her glass, “here’s to at least one of us getting lucky, or at least getting laid, sometime this academic year.”

He clinked his glass against hers. “Aye, Swan,” he replied. His voice was quiet and calm, but the look he was giving her was one she’d never seen on his face before.

&&&

Before she knew it, September rolled around. After the usual adjustment of getting back into the academic swing of things, Emma finally felt like she had fallen into a groove with her new class schedule. This semester had her teaching two graduate courses and one undergrad one, the latter of which was…trying. Art and Society was an upper-level class, but since it also counted as one of the school’s general requirements and didn’t have any prerequisites, she had a fair number of her least favorite type of student in it.

Emma didn’t mind students that were just there because it fulfilled a requirement, even if they weren’t terribly invested. And of course, she had her anthropology majors and others who wanted to succeed (or suck up, she thought with a snort) in the first rows. They were great.

No, it was the others, the ones who put in zero effort but expected to be passed anyway, either with weak excuses or because they were on one of the university’s sports teams. She’d already dealt with three cases of plagiarism, and all three students had involved their parents, who insisted that their precious baby could  _never_  do something like that intentionally.

The most recent of those had been today. Merida had been grading the students’ papers and thought one of them looked familiar–not to mention too eloquent for the bro who said “ayyyyyy” every time they saw art that featured breasts. Running it through Grammarly had yielded a couple of results, to their dismay.

Taking it to Dr. Mills and then the Dean had been unpleasant enough, but as soon as the parents had been brought in, everything had gotten worse. Apparently, dad was a successful attorney in Seattle and had threatened to sue the school, and the Dean had caved with the promise of a donation and assurances the kid would never do anything like that again.

It was exhausting, and Emma hated everything today.

She was halfway home when she abruptly changed her course and headed to Killian’s instead.

Of course, he wasn’t there yet, she realized with a curse as she walked up to his house to find the windows dark. It was only then that she remembered he had a subfield meeting–meeting being code for getting together for beers and bitching–with the other archaeology faculty. Not that that was going to stop her, as they’d exchanged keys a few months after she arrived in Storybrooke.

(“In case of emergencies, Swan.” “Killian, I’m just worried that your idea of an emergency is that you don’t have beer in your fridge and I do in mine.”)

She dug the key out of her purse and let herself in, making her way over to the couch. She flopped down onto its slightly-too-firm cushions, closing her eyes and willing away the day’s frustrations. Hopefully Killian would get back soon, preferably armed with booze or tea. Or both.

She wasn’t sure how long she was there on his couch before she heard him.

“Swan. Swan,” Killian repeated.

Emma shook her head, trying to dispel the cobwebs. She must have drifted off; it was near dusk, and a glance at the clock showed that several hours had passed.

But Killian was finally here.

She yawned and smiled softly up at him, ignoring the way her heart sped up at the sight of his familiar–and concerned–face. “Hey.”

“You okay, love?” He reached out and pushed an errant strand of hair out of her face and behind her ear.

She patted his hand when it lingered, resisting the urge to shiver at the feel of his calloused fingers on the skin of her face and neck. “It’s…it’s fine. Just a really rough day.”

He sat down next to her, pulling her into his arms. “Shit, you had that plagiarism hearing and talk with the parents, didn’t you? It went that well, hmm?”

“Ugh. It was such a clusterfuck.” She slumped into his arms, burying her face in his chest. ”And some of the administration are ass-kissing brown-nosers,” she continued somewhere in the vicinity of his shoulder.

Emma was aware she was basically in his lap, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

Killian didn’t seem to mind either, simply holding her and stroking her hair. “Arse-wipes, the lot of them. I’m sorry, Emma.”

“It’ll be fine. I feel better already after that little nap.”

“Sleep does make everything better. I could also get a pot of tea ready for us, or something stronger, if you’d prefer,” he offered.

“Can I choose both?” she asked hopefully.

He moved to disentangle himself from her, nodding his assent.

Emma tightened her grasp on him. He chuckled, patted her back and, if she wasn’t deluding herself–and god, she hoped she wasn’t–pressed the lightest of kisses onto the top of her head. “Swan, you do realize that at least one of us has to get up for any sort of beverage to happen?”

“But you smell nice,” she muttered. Reluctantly, she loosened her hold on him.

Killian made his way to the kitchen. “Barring any unfortunate and unforeseen accidents, that will still be true after I’ve brewed us a cuppa and gotten out a bottle of wine.”

She perked up at that. “Wine?”

“Yes, my little lush, wine. I picked up a red at the co-op last time I was there that I thought would go well with some steaks, but it’ll also work well with take-out from the Ethiopian place, if you’re game.”

Suddenly realizing how hungry she was, Emma made a positively unhuman sound as her stomach growled. “God, yes.”

“I’ll call and see if we can have that delivered. Then what do you say we watch Hot Fuzz for the millionth time and possibly play a board game?”

“Normally I’d be down for the board game, but I don’t want to use my brain anymore today. The rest sounds perfect, though.”

Killian smiled. “Excellent. And don’t worry, Swan, you can snuggle up to me again. You don’t even have to tell me about how good I smell.”

She threw a throw pillow at him, but she didn’t say no.

She also didn’t shy away from cuddling with him again when he rejoined her on the couch.

&&&

Ever since she woke up in Killian’s arms on his couch the morning after what she had taken to calling “Emma’s Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day”, she had known she was fucked.

Unfortunately, not literally, but things between them seemed to shift after that. Not that they hadn’t been affectionate before, or that they now spent markedly more time together.

There hadn’t been a trace of awkwardness at waking up with Killian. They’d simply both complained about how uncomfortable the couch was, straightened up and gone to a late breakfast.

Since then, though, they’d drifted off to sleep together at least once a week after a movie or night out together. (In a bed, though, much to her back’s relief.) And they had both stepped up the affectionate little gestures, even in public.

It was beyond nice…and was also driving her kind of crazy.

It felt like they were on the precipice of something more. Emma just hoped she didn’t do something rash like grab him and kiss the living daylights out of him at a faculty meeting. She was fairly sure she wouldn’t, but if he gave her any more of those half-inscrutable, half-earnest looks, she wouldn’t be able to promise anything.

And today it was her birthday.

She was turning 32, so it wasn’t a huge milestone or anything. It was going to be a nice night. They–their entire group of friends–had plans to go for dinner at one of the nicer local restaurants in town for a low-key celebration. A few years ago, it might have been more raucous, but as her friends had paired off and had children, they’d gotten a lot tamer.

(To Emma’s occasional dismay.)

After they had eaten and parted ways, Emma let Killian guide her to his car. After they were buckled in and had been on the road for a few minutes, Emma noticed they weren’t heading in the direction of either of their residences.

“Uh, Jones? You planning on murdering me?” she asked, looking pointedly at woods they were driving into.

“God, Swan, suspicious much? I’m not going to murder you.” He rolled his eyes, but kept them trained on the road.

Emma snorted. “Well, where are we going?”

“It’s part of your birthday present. It’s a surprise.”

“I hate surprises and you know it. Besides, you got me that amazing Haida blanket. Which is more than enough.”

He glanced over and smiled at her. “I promise you’ll like this surprise. It’s not another thing so much as something we could do, and I–I just thought you’d like it.” He was staring at the road again, the uncertainty in his voice showing how insecure he was about her reaction.

And honestly, she was just trying to get herself under control, her pulse racing as she came up with several ideas of things they could do together that weren’t  _things_.

God, she wanted him.

But she had to get herself in check, because Killian was obviously worried now. “We don’t have to do anything, Swan, I was just driving us out to Robin’s cabin. He told me about this one hike that’s apparently amazing at sunrise, and I–”

She cut off his babbling by reaching over and placing a hand on his thigh. “Hey, calm down. That sounds great. Other than the sunrise part, but I am hoping you know by now to bribe me with obscene amounts of coffee at that hour.”

“And bear claws, besides,” he replied, smiling, as they pulled into the gravel driveway of the cabin.

As he led her inside, she noticed what she had missed earlier. At some point, Killian had managed to get some of her hiking gear from her closet and had tossed it into a bag, along with some of the toiletries she usually kept at his place. And he had brought her, as promised, a large amount of coffee and breakfast pastries.

There wasn’t much of a quibble about one of them sleeping on the couch and the other taking the bed. The last month had removed any awkwardness at sharing a bed, even in this more  _intentional_  way.

But it was blissful and wonderful, and Emma had to hold back a happy sigh as she climbed into the bed after getting ready. Killian slipped in next to her, and draped an arm around her waist. “Night, love.”

“Night, Killian.”

&&&

Dragging herself out of bed was a struggle most days, let alone in the absurdly early dark of a Saturday morning. It helped that once Killian got up to get their coffee ready, it just wasn’t as warm and pleasant.

They made the first part of the hike in near silence, Killian knowing her well enough to give her a chance to let the caffeine work its magic. It wasn’t an arduous hike, and by the time sunrise was nearing, they had reached the top of a bluff overlooking the area.

“This is beautiful,” Emma gasped, looking out over the valleys and creeks and trees, the beginning of the sun’s first light finally touching them.

Killian stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Gorgeous,” he agreed, but he was looking down at her and not at the scenery.

Somehow, even with her heart racing with the possibilities and the  _hope_  for more, she had never felt so at peace.

&&&

“I did it! I got the grant!” She felt light, she felt free, and she felt victorious.

And she was absolutely throwing herself into Killian’s arms. Emma had no regrets about that.

It didn’t seem like Killian did either, if his laugh was any indication. Fortunately he’d been standing and had caught her, and then he was hugging her tight, spinning her around, and everything was spinning and perfect–

“I knew you’d get it, my brilliant Swan. This is incredible,” he said. His face was full of that earnest joy that she’d seen glimpses of over the last few months. It mirrored her own feelings, and for someone to feel that way for her, about her successes–it was everything.

She pulled herself from his embrace reluctantly, but she knew talking into his chest was a no-go. At least if she wanted him to hear her words. Which she did.

Probably.

“Wanna celebrate? I told Mer already, and I think she has a head start. But we could definitely get our drink on.”

“No one says ‘get our drink on’ anymore, love.”

“I’ll bring it back.”

“If anyone can, it’s you,” he said, looking at her with fond amusement.

She smiled back at him. “You know it.”

“Aye, I do. So do you want to head down to the bar? I also have a very fancy bottle of champagne that Jeff over in Food Sciences gave me,” Killian offered.

Emma contemplated her options for a moment. On one hand, Merida was waiting at the Rabbit Hole (probably not alone, but still, waiting). On the other, that was bound to be damn good champagne, and drinking alone with Killian had a certain appeal… “Unless you’re saving the bottle for something, why not both?”

“Well, I was saving it for a special occasion, and this definitely qualifies,” he said.

“Excellent.”

“On one condition–we drink the champagne first, so we can actually appreciate it.” He went over to his kitchen to grab the bottle and chill it, and Emma ogled his backside as he walked away.  _Those jeans really did fit well…_

She agreed easily. “Sure thing.”

By the time they showed up at the Rabbit Hole, Merida and all the other assorted anthropology and archaeology faculty and grad students were well into their cups. Emma and Killian weren’t exactly sober either, the champagne having left them very pleasantly tipsy.

They joined the others at the bar and got more drinks before starting a game of pool with Robin and Belle, who was surprisingly good. Emma would never had expected it from the tiny librarian, but it wasn’t long before she was kicking everyone’s ass.

Emma, for her part, was not exactly at the peak of her game, the alcohol hitting her all at once. Killian wasn’t the best partner at the moment either, but he was keeping her upright, his arm around her waist and fingers tucked into her belt loop. Ruby was staring them down with clear questions in her eyes, and Emma was about two seconds from telling her to go stare at her own secret girlfriend. She and Belle just weren’t as subtle as they thought.

She wasn’t feeling too subtle herself at the moment. She reached over and put her arm around Killian, tucking her hand into his back pocket. He started when she gave a light squeeze, his arms tightening around her.

“Swan…” His tone held a warning, but his eyes were dark and hooded as he looked at her.

She felt a thrill course threw her. Maybe he did want this, want her. But still, she could be wrong. She apologized, “Sorry.”

She started to pull her arms back, but he leaned over and whispered, “There’s nothing to apologize for. Just…don’t start something you don’t intend to finish. Please.”

She finally looked up and met his eyes. She saw trepidation and desire, earnestness and fear…she felt like she could see her future in his eyes. Emma pushed that thought away quickly, but reached for him. “I wouldn’t do that, just…listen, do you want to get out of here?”

“Very much. Just let me close our tab.”

With a quelling look at Ruby, who was smirking over at them, she moved to follow Killian, and within ten minutes they were in a cab headed to his house.

&&&

The drive to Killian’s wasn’t a long one, and under other, less lust-driven circumstances, Emma would have laughed that they had taken a cab such a short distance. But this drive felt both too long and too short all at once, and she didn’t know what to do with her hands. Before she could decide though, she found herself standing in Killian’s kitchen.

Just standing, to her disappointment.

He filled a glass of water for each of them and handed one to her. She could feel the tension between them boiling away, and she wondered which of them would succumb first. Or if they would just end up wallowing in awkwardness and pretend that the whole prelude of this evening hadn’t meant anything.

He was only a foot or so away from her, and he was peering down at her, his eyes not moving from her throat as she drank her water. Then he bit his lip, and something broke in Emma.

 _Fuck it_ , she thought, hurriedly setting her glass down on the counter.

She gripped his jacket in her hands and pulled him to her, not caring about the water that sloshed onto her and the floor from his own glass. That would be a problem for future Emma to deal with.

Her world narrowed to the feel of his lips against hers as her hands tangled in his hair. He wrapped his arms around her and moaned as he slipped her tongue into his mouth.

She hadn’t realized making out with her best friend would feel so good.

They didn’t let go of each other longer than it took to set down Killian’s water glass and navigate their way from his kitchen to his bedroom, leaving a trail of clothing in their wake.

When they were lying together under his sheets, bare and aching for each other, Killian pulled back with a gasp. “Love, are you sure? We don’t have to…”

“Killian Jones, if you think I’ll regret this and stop now,  _you’ll_  regret it,” she said, arching against him.

He groaned at the feel of her against him. “Too right,” he said. And then he was kissing her as he pushed inside her, and she couldn’t remember feeling so full or so complete.

They moved together, and it was frantic and desperate but somehow still gentle. Killian was looking at her like she was the sun and then she could swear she saw stars as she came, her heart racing and full of love.

When they regained their breath and were sated and tucked in each other’s arms, Emma was startled when Killian let out a giggle. Pushing herself up his chest, she raised an eyebrow at him. “What?”

“Emma, we did  _that_ ,” he said, as if that explained everything. He looked amused and happy, and just a tad uncertain.

She rolled her eyes at him. “Yeah, most people just call it ‘sex’, but I figured you knew that alread–”

He cut her off with a dizzying kiss that did nothing to slow her pulse. He pulled away from her lips, breathless, but asked, “So it was…all right? No regrets?”

“Hey,” she said seriously, placing her hands on either side of his face to meet his gaze, “no regrets. Never with you.”

She didn’t think she was imagining that he was a little choked up when he replied, “Good.”

&&&

She woke up the next morning to blue eyes staring at her, and Killian’s face awash with happiness and…mild panic?

Seeing him look so worried threatened to send her into panic mode, but before she started them on a complete panic spiral, Emma reached out and ran her hand through his chest hair. She gave him a peck on the cheek and said, “Morning,” her voice hoarse from sleep.

Killian visibly relaxed. Pulling her into his embrace so that she was resting on top of him, he kissed her more thoroughly.

When he pulled back and relaxed back into his pillow, he smiled up at her. “You’re here,” and Emma’s heart lurched at the awe in voice.

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

“Mmm. No headache or anything?”

Burying her head in his neck, she snuggled in before replying, “I’m pretty sure you’re just fishing to make sure I don’t regret last night. Which I don’t, by the way. Do you?”

“I wasn’t–” cutting himself off, he shrugged and ran a hand through her hair. “Okay, yes. I was a little worried you’d regret this come morning. But I am also concerned about whether you have a headache, as we drank a fair amount last night.”

Emma laughed and lifted herself up on an elbow. “You just had to ruin the joke I was about to make about coming in the morning by being sweet and caring, didn’t you? Anyway, I have a little bit of a headache, but that’s about it. How about you?”

“I don’t have much of a headache either.”

“That’s not what I was asking, and you know it. Don’t be an ass.”

“You think I have a cute arse.”

“Still off-topic,” she said, rolling eyes. She punched his arm in faux-reproof.

He chuckled. “You know what I mean. And you do too think I have a cute arse.”

She mumbled under her breath, “It’s a good thing you’re cute, because you are an ass.”

“But a cute one,” he reiterated, still beaming at her. Slowly, his smile became more of a gentle thing, and he brushed a kiss across her brow. “In all seriousness, I hope it doesn’t make me actually an arse to admit that last night…I’ve been wanting that–and you–for a long time.”

She was stunned. Speechless, even. Wait, did this mean she hadn’t been alone in her…pining? She hated to admit that’s what it was, but the definition did seem to fit. “Really?”

“For months, easily,” Killian admitted. “To be honest, I was interested when you moved here, but I was still grieving, and you didn’t seem so inclined.”

Emma considered his response. “Huh. I mean, it probably wouldn’t have gone well. I had like zero relationship experience outside of the Neal fiasco at that point, and I’d just finished grad school. The first year of my first real job, I was a mess. And you were too. It hadn’t been all that long since Milah passed away.”

“Aye, that I was. So I’m glad it happened now. Because–and please don’t freak out or run off–it does mean more to me than just a one-off.”

She kissed him. “I won’t run, promise. It–it’s more than just a one-time thing for me. If we both want it to be.”

He raised his eyebrow in that salacious way that generally accompanied some of his grade A innuendo (which Emma was very pleased to know he could back up with his actions), and said, “Love, knowing how you kiss–and how you fuck, Christ, woman–I’d be happy not to leave the bed for at least a few days.”

She paused, seeming to consider his reply. “So, is that a no to having sex in your shower? Because–”

He cut her off with a kiss. And even when they left the room later that day, Emma was thrilled to learn that their new-found intimacy was just as much of a thing in the living room as it was in the bed.

&&&

When Killian told her in November that he’d made his excuses to Liam about why he couldn’t make it home to the UK for Christmas, she wanted to squeal with delight.

This year–as with prior ones–she was staying here. Emma wasn’t completely alone in the world, or at least she hadn’t been since college. Yes, childhood and adolescence in the foster care system had been difficult (to put things mildly), but she’d worked her ass off and gotten a scholarship to college. She’d had to work like crazy there too, but she’d also met Mary Margaret and then David Nolan.

They were family now, and her best friends, second only to Killian. For years, she’d spent Christmas and New Year’s with them, but now that they had one child and another on the way…it wasn’t the same. Besides, their families demanded time with their grandchildren.

While baby Lance was cute, Emma opted out. For one thing, no matter what David or Mary Margaret said, she didn’t want to intrude on their family time.

So, the last couple of years the holidays had been kind of lonely. Other people had invited her over, sure, but it wasn’t the same. So now, having the lovely vacation time and Killian to spend most of it with?

This was going to be the best Christmas ever.

It had been almost a month since they first hooked up. Maybe hooking up wasn’t the right word, but Emma was hard-pressed to find one. Killian was…well, he was a lot. He was her best friend, she loved sleeping with him, and she was trying really hard not to be the first one to say “I love you.”

It had only been a month. It was too soon, right? Especially with them not having labeled it and no one knowing about it.

If it weren’t for the adoring looks she got from Killian on a regular basis, she might worry. Well, that and she was fairly sure the only reason he hadn’t said anything was that  _she_  hadn’t said anything.

She stewed in her confusion, unsure about whether she should be thrilled about Christmas with Killian or nervous about the potential for the destruction of their friendship.

Okay, that was a little melodramatic. But she had a lot of feelings, and she wasn’t used to it.

She also wasn’t used to making out with Killian in her office, but that wasn’t going to stop her, especially the first day back after Thanksgiving break when he was looking heartbreakingly good in that stupid blue shirt of his.

He had stopped by to ask her to lunch after teaching one of his classes, and Emma just stared at him for a solid minute. It didn’t matter that they had spent a good portion of the week together, she couldn’t get over him being…hers.

(Not in a creepy possessive way, but being able to throw herself in his arms and lay one on him without worrying about rejection? Definitely a plus.)

So that’s what she did–she stood up, walked around her desk, threw herself into Killian’s arms, and kissed the living daylights out of him.

It wouldn’t have been a problem except Merida had walked in for their usual Monday debriefing a couple minutes later, and they were still wrapped in each other’s arms.

She wasn’t sure whether her own face, Merida’s hair, or Killian’s ears were reddest. And Emma was pretty sure she had never seen Merida’s mouth hang that far open. At least until she started laughing and screeched, “I KNEW IT!”

It took just a couple minutes for a couple of the other grad students–and Ruby–to peek inside the room. Ruby asked, “Knew what?”

Panic was written on Merida’s face for a moment, but then she recovered. “That Ong’s response to Wilk’s last paper was going to tear him apart. It’s bloody and brilliant and bloody brilliant.”

Ruby didn’t look convinced, her eyes flitting to Emma and Killian. She had the same look on her face she’d had the night they got together, suspicion and wondering. “And that necessitated you coming and yelling at Emma and Jones about it because…?”

Pointing at herself, Emma said, “I was one of the reviewers for the response. I wasn’t sure how many of my suggestions Dr. Ong was going to take.”

“Okay…sure.” With one last, lingering look Ruby grabbed the students that still remained in the room and left with them all.  

Killian and Emma shrugged at each other. Merida knew, and it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if Ruby found out.

&&&

It was a couple days after Christmas. Emma and Killian had had a lovely holiday, and the snow and ice kept them inside, preoccupied with each other.

They were having a late lie-in, tucked into bed reading and working on little projects that could be done on their tablets. Emma looked up when Killian chuckled, his phone in his hand. He passed it over to her so she could read the message he’d received.

Emma hesitated when she saw that it was from Tink, but she swallowed the jealous twinge. She took the phone and read.

_T: So I heard from Ruby, who says “she just knows” you and Emma are together_

_Does this mean you took my advice and told her?!_

_God I’m so happy_

_I love being right_

She laughed, then took a moment to process. Tink was happy about them being together? And she’d talked to Killian about it?

“So…Tink knows? Kind of? And is okay with it?”

Killian scratched behind his ear. “Apparently she knows, and yes, she’s very okay with it.”

“When did this happen?” Emma was flummoxed.

“Well, as I’ve mentioned, I  _may_  have had feelings for you for longer than I’d like to admit,” he said, giving her a poor attempt at a wink. “It was actually something that caused a fair amount of friction when she and I were dating.”

“So…huh. But you all seemed fine. And didn’t you try to hook up with her at the beginning of the year?” She couldn’t meet his eyes. Sure, he was hers now, but she wasn’t certain she wanted the answer to her question, she thought as she twisted her hands together in her lap.

“It mostly was fine, since she and I weren’t serious. She was never angry with you about it, she just–well, she saw how close you and I were and wondered.” He coughed. “And as for the other, er, um…kind of? It was a very half-hearted attempt on my part, and she saw right through me as soon as she showed up at that party. After you left, she told me that if I didn’t deal with my feelings for you, one way or another, that I was an idiot.”

Emma was sitting up straight by now, still shell-shocked by the revelation. “So she doesn’t hate me? And she likes us together?”

“You thought she didn’t like you?!” He reached for her hand and brushed a kiss across her knuckles. “No, she was more just…stressed by your presence when we were together, but once things faded between us–well, she told me I should get my priorities in order, and acknowledge that you were one of them.”

Looking up at him from under her lashes, she asked, “Wait, are you saying that I’m a priority for you?”

He sat up and pulled her into his arms. “I hope you don’t doubt that, love. I don’t say it often, but the depth of my feelings for you–well, I wouldn’t want to say anything you’re not ready to hear.”

“Do you think I’m not–that I don’t feel that way about you too? I might not be great at talking about my feelings, but they’re–you’re a priority for me too,” Emma told him.

“So this isn’t just a fling to you?” Killian sounded painfully earnest, and Emma’s heart lurched.

“No! God, no. Killian, do you know how long I’ve been teased about pining over you? Like, almost since I started working here. And you know how it is when people tease me about something–”

“–you dig in and get stubborn about it–”

“Yes, exactly. So I refused to admit to myself that I didn’t just think you’re hot, that I  _like you_  like you, until the beginning of this semester,” she explained.

His eyes softened, but he clearly couldn’t resist teasing her. “So what I’m hearing is that you’ve been pining over me for ages.”

“That would be what you fixate on.” She huffed, but settled into his arms and let him pull her back among the pillows. “Me not telling people about us…it’s not because I’m ashamed or because I don’t see a future.”

“Then what is it?”

“Partly, I don’t want to give people like Ruby and Tink the satisfaction of saying ‘I told you so,’” she said, and they both laughed before she continued, “and mostly? I don’t want to deal with Regina lecturing us about colleagues dating or everyone butting in. I don’t want us to change.”

“Ahhh,” said Killian.

“This is just nice, you know? You, me, together, no one bothering us.”

“For what it’s worth, Swan, I think it could be just as great if it were the two of us out and about in the world together,” he said.

Emma was starting to agree.

&&&

She shouldn’t have worried about it, honestly.

When she and Killian finally went to Regina together at the beginning of the new semester to inform her that they were together, she just rolled her eyes at them.

“This isn’t news, Dr. Swan, Dr. Jones. I just hope it’ll put an end to all the nauseatingly visible  _yearning_  and pining.”

“I don’t yearn,” Emma replied reflexively. Killian rested his palm on the small of her back to soothe her.

Regina gave her a dubious look. “Fine, you don’t yearn. He does, though. But in all seriousness, this is fine, as long as you behave professionally in professional settings. And if it ends, don’t make faculty meetings and collaborations awkward for everyone else.”

“That won’t be a problem, Dr. Mills, thank you,” Killian told her.

Regina nodded. “Well, if there’s nothing else…Robin and I would like to invite you both over for dinner at our place Friday.”

Feeling rather stunned at how  _easy_  it had been, they agreed.

&&&

And it was easy.

Apparently, their feelings for each other hadn’t surprised many people, and almost everyone seemed to be rooting for them. Ruby  _had_  teased them mercilessly when she found out, but they took it in stride. Besides, Emma and Killian got some serious payback when Ruby and Belle  _finally_  got their act together and fessed up that they were a couple.

Robin had found out from Regina, which made sense. At their dinner on Friday, he just nodded and winked before telling them he was glad they had finally admitted their feelings for each other.

Emma was glad too. It just made life richer and simpler. It felt paradoxical, but it was true.

Having the freedom to stare at his ass or lovingly into his eyes, depending on her mood, was something she relished. And him being able to reach out and hold her hand or touch her hair seemed to make him happier. And there was a new depth, a new intimacy to their relationship, as well.

Even a small thing like talking about their day was better. Emma supposed it had something to do with being able to offer the support they had obviously wanted from each other, had yearned for, in Regina’s words.

She liked it.

&&&

Soon it was spring again in all its capricious glory. One day the trees were in bloom, and the next two inches of snow blanketed the ground. A typical spring, but it definitely wasn’t Emma’s favorite season.

It was made even more difficult by the approach of her sabbatical year in Mexico. Oh, she was thrilled about the grant for setting up what was essentially a field school, and was thrilled about the progress made. She was also excited about her research, and this would definitely look good on her C.V.

But she didn’t want to be away from Killian. She hadn’t been counting on him–on them–when she went through the first steps to get it set up, or when she had applied for the grant. There was no question of her not going or anything so absurd, but she was going to miss him.

Killian finally seemed to pick up on her uneasiness in April. “Swan, is everything all right? I feel like I’ve done something to vex you, love. You seem distant, and if you’re thinking about ending things, I at least want to know why.”

 _Ending things?_  Is that what that ridiculous man thought? “Oh god, no, Killian. I’m sorry. I don’t want to break up. I just don’t know what to do about the field season coming up, and it’s made me panic. It’s a year, Killian. And we’ve only been together, what, six months?” Emma struggled to reassure him, even as she didn’t know how to soothe her own agitation.

He pulled her onto his lap in the chair he was sitting on. She remained tense and resistant for a moment before slumping into his embrace.

“Emma Swan, I love you. And I don’t see why a temporary separation would mean that we would break up, especially when I would go to the ends of the earth for you,” he said. His voice was sure and steady, and her heart ached at how calm and certain he was.

She loved him, and he deserved to know. “I love you too, Killian. And I wish I had gotten to tell you for the first time when I wasn’t freaking out, but…”

“But that’s part of who you are, and I know that. I know you, love, and we’re going to be  _fine_.”

The knot in her stomach started to loosen. “How can you be so sure?”

He smiled and brushed a kiss across her cheek. “First, because it’s only a year. We may have only been together officially for six months, but you’ve been my best friend, someone I’ve loved, for even longer.”

“Which is mutual, by the way,” she said.

His smile grew.“And secondly, and don’t be angry with me, I have a couple of ideas.”

She laughed. “Look, if you’ve got ideas, I want to hear them. Short of kicking a puppy, I don’t see myself being mad.”

“I decided not run the field school this summer. I already told Regina and she’s found someone else to cover for the season. I’ve done it for years, and truthfully, I need a break anyway–”

Emma pulled his lips to hers and kissed him hard. “You gave up your field season for me?”

He tangled his hand in the hair framing her face. “Aye, and if necessary, I’d do it again.”

“Have I mentioned lately how much I love you?”

“It’s come up once or twice, but I’d happily hear it again,” he said. “So that will let me go with you for the summer, if you’ll have me. And there are other times I can fly down.”

“And I’ll come up for holidays and stuff,” she said, her smile radiant.

“Holidays and stuff sounds good,” he agreed, nodding.

This could work. They were going to do this.

Emma didn’t know exactly what the future held, but she was definitely looking forward to hers with Killian by her side.

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up with your comments! I'm also on tumblr at emmaswanchoosesyou if you want to scream about this or other Once-y things.


End file.
